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Stuart Wellington
Stuart L. Wellington is somewhat of an original party animal...it's his cross to bear. Once went on a trip to Yosemite so amazing they should have made a movie about it. It is his dream to one day kill a bear with a flamethrower. Stuart is currently employed as a Scorpion Wrangler on The Daily Show. A legitimate member of the press, per NYCC (aka Flopcon ). He had a badge and everything. Stuart can't help that texting and browsing the Internet is often more interesting than the movies. Have you SEEN some of those movies? A Sexual Dynamo - no matter when you're reading this, he's still consumating his marriage. They'll talk about that on a future episode of the podcast. Stuart also perfected the "Fake male orgasm" which involves blinding a woman and spitting in her face. In Episode 69, Stuart disclosed his ethnicity as a Juggalo. In the "Conan the Barbarian" episode, he revealed his worship of Crom - perhaps making him a Crommalo? Complicating matters, in Episode Fifty: Delgo (@4:45) he commented: "I like Dagon. I'd worship him." Factoids * Infrequently plays the role of peacemaker, and is ordinarily the freshmaker. * During a period of unrest between the floppers, Stuart suggested some retooling of the Flophouse format. To wit: fewer bad movies, more pornographic movies, and instead of talking about the movie, to just masturbate as a group. Ultimately this was rejected since they had already tried that once, with at best mixed results. (Episode Sixty-Eight: Teen Witch) * As of Episode 102, is badder than ever. Has yet to go black, so he keeps coming back. * In The Flop House production of Snow White, he would be "Cool Dwarf". * Has a secret wish to be a half-Duck/half-ninja turtle that lives in Duckburg, does not crave pizza, and has gadgets made by his buddy Gyro Gearloose. * Has a buddy named "Alexander Delicious." (Episode Thirty: Bangkok Dangerous @47:10) * Is not quite certain about what Netflix is, or how it works. Personal Tastes * If you had to pin him down on what he wants in a movie, it needs a couple of basic components: boobs + vengeful dead old people. (But not Titanic.) * "I watch a lot of movies and listen to a lot of music for pleasure that's designed mainly to make you uncomfortable." (Episode One Hundred and Thirty-Eight - Foodfight! @27:40) * "Horrifying" porn, which he watches compulsively. (Episode Twenty-Five: The Happening @50:55) * Fantasy fiction based in the grimdark universe of Warhammer 40,000. * 1970s science fiction novels Oft-Recommended Films *Castle Freak *The Invisible Maniac *Head of the Family Look-Alikes/Sound-Alikes *Josh Brolin *Seth Rogen *'Jason Segel ' *'Thurston Howell, III' *Henchman 24 Catchphrases *Hhheeeyyy... dduuddeess! *Wait... what? *Is this... is this a bit? *I'll allow it. ** Episode One Hundred and Thirty - The Scarlet Letter @30:10 *Do what your body wants. **Episode One Hundred and Thirty - The Scarlet Letter @22:05 **Episode One Hundred and Forty-Four - Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor @24:30 (spoken by Dan) *Mash-em-up (or, occasionally "Mix-em-up") *10 wormy boners! *Spoookily good-bad! *Rufio! Rufio! Rufio! ** Episode One Hundred and Fourteen - Abduction @27:10 *Are there a lot of (thing that is obviously in the movie, or obviously not in the movie) in this movie? Stuart's Favourite Jokes As mentioned in ''Episode Fifty-Five: The Ugly Truth.'' # Kicking someone in the crotch # Ding-Dong sound effects # Boobs popping out of a chick's shirt # Foul-mouthed and/or rapping grannies * Farts (honorable mention) Lexicon Neologisms, obscure slang, and any term that Stuart deems necessary to explain. ; bi-optional : Any person capable of becoming bisexual. (Which means everybody, technically.) ; cum gutters : sculpted abs / six pack / hypertrophy of the Rectus abdominis ; death by monster : A method of execution effected by means of a savage creature. ; sammich : sandwich * Episode Sixty-One: Surrogates @30:15 ; shit sandwich : criticism technique where one negative item comes between two positives ; turd cutter : ass Category:Hosts Category:Regular Hosts